Sprout, pushing J's beer bottle next to the water carafe: This is Papa and this is Momma, and you have to put them really close because, you know, they have to be touching so...
Sprout puts the salt shaker behind the water carafe, opposite the beer bottle: This is me. What do sperm look like?
J: Comme des têtards (Like tadpoles)
Sprout, taking pieces of bread and molding them into tadpole shapes: OK, so we're going to have the girl's team and the boy's team, and we're going to see which one gets to Momma's egg first.
Me: On your mark, get set, go!
Sprout, making the sperm swim, with the girl sperm in the lead: Ha! You know why the girl sperm got there first? Because all the other girls were holding the boys' tails!
And that, friends, is why Sprout is a girl.