The Wayfarer (mnfaure) wrote,
The Wayfarer
mnfaure

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Snippet Sunday

I'm posting with a "request" this time, rather than just showing a snippet. If you read, I'd like to know: Does this make sense? I've fiddled and fiddled with this paragraph, trying not to be too descriptive while still drawing a clear picture for the reader. It is the "clear" I'm worried about.





In the distance, two earthstars lit the massive, freestanding gate that separated the jungles of Paoqei from the capital. The gate stood upon a sheer cliff which ringed Open City and its harbor, making a wall unnecessary. Wider by several lengths than the paved, rammed-earth road leading up to it, the gate sufficed for keeping offislanders in the caldera where they belonged. The capital might be open to traders and seafarers from afar but the island was not.



Tags: shaking the magic 8 ball, snippet sunday, that thing called writing, witherwilds
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  • Bluster, bluster, storm and blow

    We've been having a very wet and windy week, actually almost two weeks. After such a dry summer, it feels both good and strange to have this…

  • How kind of you

    Did you automatically read that subject line with a sarcastic tone? You should have. Last year, I was on the look out for a kitten or cat or adopt…

  • Hoopin' it up

    As trite and cliché as it may sound, clouds do have silver their silver linings. J got three days off work for his grandmother's death,…