I have not been writing; I have not been revising. I have not been sleeping...well, not sleeping enough.
I just came through a bout of insomnia. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was so tired that my insomnia and difficulty falling asleep grew to be distant memories. However, almost two weeks ago, insomnia slithered back into my head and, coupled with a compressed bladder, kept me from getting enough sleep, no matter how tired I grew. I couldn't even take naps. Friday, I was so exhausted, I broke into tears when I realized I was missing my birthing class because I was trying to take a nap..."trying" being the extremely operative word. Well, the crying took its toll and I was able to nap for an hour after I got over the guilt of not respecting my appointment and the realization that yes, this parenting thing is going to take a lot of effort and there is no way I can be prepared for every contingency before the birth or expect to be up to date on every parenting technique, on how I feel about issues like immunizations and if they are really safe for children, and and and...
And that night, I was back in bed, ready to sleep, at 9:30 and only lay there for an hour before being able to nod off. After two nights of 10 hours of shut-eye (not uninterrupted, mind you; remember the pregnant lady bladder thing) and one night of 8, I'm feeling almost human again.
But this weekend, I've only had the will to binge. Binge on season 4 of Dexter. All 12 episodes in two days. Binge on crocheting. Hours and hours of doing double stitches, trying to finish the blanket for my niece's baby so that I can get on with projects for Little Bean without feeling guilty for putting "me and mine" first.
And I could say I binged on spice muffins and chocolate pudding pie, but I won't because I didn't. Not really. Indulging is not bingeing.
Dexter is over, but the blanket is not finished. Back to work.
I just came through a bout of insomnia. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was so tired that my insomnia and difficulty falling asleep grew to be distant memories. However, almost two weeks ago, insomnia slithered back into my head and, coupled with a compressed bladder, kept me from getting enough sleep, no matter how tired I grew. I couldn't even take naps. Friday, I was so exhausted, I broke into tears when I realized I was missing my birthing class because I was trying to take a nap..."trying" being the extremely operative word. Well, the crying took its toll and I was able to nap for an hour after I got over the guilt of not respecting my appointment and the realization that yes, this parenting thing is going to take a lot of effort and there is no way I can be prepared for every contingency before the birth or expect to be up to date on every parenting technique, on how I feel about issues like immunizations and if they are really safe for children, and and and...
And that night, I was back in bed, ready to sleep, at 9:30 and only lay there for an hour before being able to nod off. After two nights of 10 hours of shut-eye (not uninterrupted, mind you; remember the pregnant lady bladder thing) and one night of 8, I'm feeling almost human again.
But this weekend, I've only had the will to binge. Binge on season 4 of Dexter. All 12 episodes in two days. Binge on crocheting. Hours and hours of doing double stitches, trying to finish the blanket for my niece's baby so that I can get on with projects for Little Bean without feeling guilty for putting "me and mine" first.
And I could say I binged on spice muffins and chocolate pudding pie, but I won't because I didn't. Not really. Indulging is not bingeing.
Dexter is over, but the blanket is not finished. Back to work.
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Comments
(and that's what we did yesterday, after a traumatic morning, and oh it worked!)
Don't worry. You'll be a good parent. As concerned as you sound about it, you'll make the right decisions. A lot of them come naturally.
And thanks for the vote of confidence. :)
Makes for some whacked-out anxiety dreams too. :-/
~D
On a serious note, my hormones went haywire at about month 6/7. Like I thought I was going nuts. Everything set me off, I couldn't stand to be around anyone, and I ended up with severe insomnia, too. I don't know what healthcare is like there, but Ambien was safe for me in the third trimester and it helped tons.
"Indulging is not bingeing."
I love that. I LOVE IT.
Prayers to you, and if you ever need to just TALK, msg me and we'll take on AIM!
Big love!
Thanks for the prayers and the offer to talk. :)
Perfectly normal. Honest.
*very glad you're across an ocean from me*
*I* may be an ocean away, but Dexter is only a few states south of you. :D
Just sayin'....
>:}
Who wants a boring child? :P
Just last night, Julien was saying he hopes the kid has a knack for telling tall tales. *lol*
But I'm going to comment anyway ;-) You're going to be a terrific mother. You and Julien are going to be terrific parents! The fact that you're worried about doing the right thing is testament to that and the realisation that you're human and can only do the best you can is even more so.
I'm glad you're feeling better & I'm sending 'sleep well' vibes even as I type. At 4.30 a.m! :D
Your vibes arrived safe and sound. Almost 9.5 hours of sleep last night.
Thanks for believing in us. We're going to give it our best. :D
BIG hugs and kisses.