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What are your thoughts?

Many people keep the names of their children, spouses, and various family members "secret" on their blogs, only referring to their loved ones by nicknames. For those of you who do, why do you do it? For those who don't, why not?

Also, what are your thoughts on photos of children on the Internet? Locked post, fodder for all, or not at all?

*just wondering if Little Bean will someday be known as _________ or if he/she will simply graduate to Sprout*

Comments

( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
frigg
Aug. 14th, 2010 03:04 pm (UTC)
I keep some names secret because I'm not sure if they'd want their names out there or not. Costas...just because I'm lazy to write Costas all the time. He knows I'm posting about him on LJ. ;)

I know some parents do it to protect their children from predators, and I guess that makes sense, if someone would want to prey on your child because of your blog, then it would be easier to lure it if the predator knows its name.
frigg
Aug. 14th, 2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
Oh! And I can totally see the Little Bean - Sprout - Beanpole graduations. ;)
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queenoftheskies
Aug. 14th, 2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
I used to not mention my kids by name, but my older two have LJ's and people who have them friended know their names anyway, so...

My youngest, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Some folks know me in real life anyway and call them by name, so I don't try to "protect" them now that they're older.

The only reason I did when they were younger is on the off chance that I ran into anyone that knew their father.
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:45 am (UTC)
*nods* I think they are at an age now where their lives have become more public due to their own actions, and it makes sense to reevaluate the "privacy" rules then.
sunflower_sky
Aug. 14th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
I don't know. I feel it's silly to talk about someone specific without using his or her name. If later in life Hallel is embarrassed by things I write here I can friendslock or delete them. But I also don't talk about EVERYTHING, you know? I find it a little jarring when some LJ friends post about intimate details of their love/sex lives, even under friendslock... but then, where I come from it is not considered proper to discuss those things with friends just for the sake of talking about it.

We post pictures of Hallel on places like Facebook or under friendslock, where generally speaking only people who know us will see them. When posting on public forums I avoid using Hallel's name but I'm not really sure why. I have thought about whether to post pictures of the new baby as part of my birth story on those forums. I didn't last time and I'm not sure I will this time. But you know... a newborn baby is a newborn baby. If you've seen one red wrinkly coneheaded baby human you've seen 'em all... :P (Of course, Hallel was objectively perfect. :P Being born small helped with the coneheaded thing at least...)

I really can't imagine what someone could do with pictures of a baby or little kid on the Internet. But I'm a pretty innocent little flower. :-/

~D
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:44 am (UTC)
Yeah, I think it depends on *what* you talk about. Like you said, it is not like you are putting everything out there.

I still haven't decided what to do about photos. I like sharing photos, but they are hardly ever of people. Rather I prefer my surroundings or what I'm up to. I think, though, that my son or daughter might be something I want/need to share more. I say *need* for family, etc, and I don't have facebook and don't plan on ever having it. I can always send them by email. Anyhow, I need to talk to my dear wubs about it and see what his plans are. All his FB friends post pics of their kids, so I'm sure it is something he hasn't really given thought to (ie thinking it might be a privacy issue).
secritcrush
Aug. 14th, 2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
Hmm, I'm more on the side protecting the privacy of folk than not unless they've given permission to talk about them. I think this particularly applies to children - there's some folk I see ranting about their children and how frustrating/annoying/whatever and I just wonder how the children would feel reading that in a few years. (Or in the case of embarassing stuff, if their friends ever read it.) So for me it's not so much about not using their name, but sticking to positive and less personal items in public posts.
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:40 am (UTC)
So for me it's not so much about not using their name, but sticking to positive and less personal items in public posts.

That is a very good point.

As for the ranting, if ever I need to gripe about something personal--and the need is extremely rare--I take it to a special filter.
clarentine
Aug. 14th, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
I don't mention names in my journal if I can help it, whether or not the person has a LJ. We have little enough privacy in our interconnected world. Why reduce it any further?

(Datapoint: I'm also one of those who does not believe in bumper stickers or personalized license plates; I don't want to give those amongst whom I move any more grip on who I am than I must. It's none of their business...and the forced misspellings on the plates are more usually painful than funny.)
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:37 am (UTC)
Yeah, I often think I should have used a different blog handle than my name, but the whole point of me getting a journal was that someday it would be an established web presence for me if ever I decided to get off my tush and do something about this writing hobby of mine.

re Datapoint: ditto.
asakiyume
Aug. 14th, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC)
I use nicknames to preserve their anonymity. Three of my kids have LJs (only one updates frequently, though), but mainly I don't refer to them by their LJ names, either; I stick with the nicknames. (My youngest doesn't have an LJ... yet.)

I have posted pictures of my kids, and I think sometimes I haven't even locked it. I just don't identify them (and I ask them first, too). I don't post photos of them much, though, because my posts tend not to be about family stuff, etc.

mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:36 am (UTC)
*nods* I've been thinking that after the birth, I will do one friendslocked post with the baby's name, and from then on out refer to him or her as "Sprout."

I should ask my husband what he thinks first, though. :P
jongibbs
Aug. 14th, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
I can't speak for other folks, but I do it, partly out of respect for their privacy and partly because there's always some ratbag out in the world who'll happily take notes of someone's personal details and try to use them for fraudulent gain.
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:32 am (UTC)
I hear you on both accounts.
learningtoread
Aug. 14th, 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)
I basically refer to Verity as V just because I'm lazy. ;-) Same as I oft sign me emails E. As for Boy, well, I've never been good at calling him by his real name, Rob. Since we started dating 11 years ago, he's been Jack to me in real life.

Only that confuses people. My brother, who I hadn't talked to in a while, actually thought I'd gotten a new husband when I called Rob "Jack" in conversation.

So....BOY. Yeah, I just call him BOY for those of you who don't actually know him. :C)
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:31 am (UTC)
That is somewhat confusing. :P

I have a friend who calls her husband Robert for laughs, and she uses "Robert" so much at work that when her husband called and announced himself, her boss said, "No, you are not her husband. Her husband's name is Robert." :P

...And that is why, when I was sending your postcards, I never knew what to call Boy. :P I racked my brain to remember if you had mentioned his name at some point, but kept coming up with a blank.
navicat
Aug. 15th, 2010 12:28 am (UTC)
G is G because his name is long and annoying to type... :D No actually it's because he prefers anonymity. But, when he finally gets his arse into gear and sets up his own website etc, then I'll be not only referring to him by name, I'll be linking to his website at every opportunity!

As for Navi, Chess and Gully... they don't seem to care ;)
mnfaure
Aug. 15th, 2010 08:29 am (UTC)
*lol* I was thinking his name is long? That's not long! :P But, yes, soon he must take his step into the spotlight!
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melinda_goodin
Aug. 15th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC)
I don't post much about the other people in my family life, unless it's a call for support in a difficult situation. On the rare occasions that I do, I use their names, but I friends-lock the post. I do sometimes post photos, but again, behind a cut and friends-locked. It's partially a privacy thing, partially a nobody's-business-except-friends thing.

Edited at 2010-08-15 03:00 pm (UTC)
mnfaure
Aug. 16th, 2010 09:01 am (UTC)
It's partially a privacy thing, partially a nobody's-business-except-friends thing.

This sums my thoughts up nicely!
dlandon
Aug. 15th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
Photos -
locked, always. That's the way I tend to lean because there are sadly a lot of crazies out there.

Also, while the laws may differ in France, in the US you can't post a picture of a minor without parental consent (something I have to know for my dance teaching). So if you want to post a pic of Little Johnny with his best friend Maggie...be careful.

Names? Hm...I think it's kind of a toss-up. Far too many people on lj know me in real life for me to be able to keep my husband's name a secret. However, since lj can be hacked, and you have posted about the town you live in... don't know, whether or not you gave Little Bean a name on here is probably up to your own comfort level AND how many of us you know well enough to protect your privacy/know in real life.

- D
mnfaure
Aug. 16th, 2010 09:02 am (UTC)
Re: Photos -
... there are sadly a lot of crazies out there

I know. :( Sometimes it is hard to remember that, but then I don't watch the news. If I did, I might find forgetting harder.

I'm not sure about the laws in France, but that would be an interesting thing to look into.
kmkibble75
Aug. 15th, 2010 11:46 pm (UTC)
I keep family names secret because my last name is extremely uncommon, and so it wouldn't be hard for someone to put the two names together and ... well, who knows. For my friends, I'm not as anal because I don't use their last names, so there wouldn't be any reason to think someone could track something embarrassing back to them.

As far as the kids go, I will always use code names. It just lets me feel like I'm protecting them... and along that line, I'll never post pictures of other people's kids. Who knows what whack jobs are out there cruising the Internets, and once you put those pictures up, they're out of your control for good. So, I will never be responsible for something inappropriate happening with a picture of The Niece, The Nephew, Rupert, or any of my friends' children.
mnfaure
Aug. 16th, 2010 09:04 am (UTC)
I think that feeling of doing your part to protect someone is important. If ever something did happen and you felt the blame could be traced back to some inadvertent you, that would be a terrible thing to have to cope with.
rabiagale
Aug. 18th, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
I use nicknames for my kids in public posts and friendslock any photos I put up of them. I'm trying to protect their privacy. They didn't ask for a writer-blogger mom. :P
mnfaure
Aug. 18th, 2010 08:33 am (UTC)
*nods* Seems like good sense.
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )

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